Creating Memories

Straight away

• Record all your child(ren)s details including height, weight, age, eye colour, hair colour
• Take handprints and footprint with ink
• Create three-dimensional plaster casts of hands and feet
• Cut a lock of hair to keep
• Think about a possible birth and/or death announcement (see examples)

Keepsakes of babies

• Collect together ultrasound photos and video footage
• Obtain a copy of the delivery records
• If your babies are being registered, get copies of their birth certificates
• If your babies will not be registered (this depends on the State, but generally applies to babies who died before 20 weeks gestation), get or make a naming certificate
• Buy a doll or teddy bear that is the size of your baby (or babies) at birth. You could even dress the doll up in clothes worn by or intended for your multiple(s)
  

For the memorial service or funeral

• Develop a personal memorial service
• Invite guests to bring a photo of themselves with a message which can be collected into an album or buried with the child(ren)
• Have a guest book at the service that people can sign and write messages
• Release balloons or white doves to the child(ren) who died

At the grave

• Personalise the gravesite
• Check with the cemetery regarding guidelines for leaving toys
• Place a small plant or vase of flowers at the grave, some flowers will last for months, eg. proteas

Going forward

• Keep a journal
• Buy a grief pin
• Put together a memory album with child's details, photos, hospital tags, naming certificates, etc.
• Create a memory box to put all your three-dimensional keepsakes such as clothes, toys, cards you received, letters you have written to your child/ren
• Create a photo montage of your multiples
• Get a portrait done of your multiples together. This can be especially nice if you don't have any photographs of your multiples together.
• Make a special urn to hold your baby or babies ashes, if cremated
• Plant a special tree. Perhaps a plant that flowers on the anniversary
• Create a special garden or corner where you can spend time and reflect
• Make or buy a twins / triplets / quadruplets+ statue for your garden
• Adopt a star in honour of your multiple(s)
• Make or buy celebration candles, which you can light on each anniversary

Involve your other children

• Talk with your other children in a normal manner
• Allow your other children to ask questions. Answer in an honest and age-appropriate manner
• Frame a special sketch of the family done by other children or surviving multiples
• Take the children with you to visit the gravesite. This can provide a good opportunity to talk
  
  

Involve family and friends

Other Resources